Seven Things No One Should Buy from Sky Mall

There are two parts of each plane trip I absolutely loathe—take-offs and landings. No, it’s not that they make me airsick, I just hate not being able to use any of my electronic devices.

The only thing left for me to do during this period of time is to browse the current issue of Sky Mall. While scanning the catalog is a guilty pleasure of mine, no one on any account should ever buy anything Sky Mall. Ever.

SkyMall Winter 2011

A few months back I remember seeing a post on Freshly Pressed highlighting some of the miscellaneous oddities to be found in the pages of Sky Mall. I’d like to contribute my own list of seven things no one should buy from Sky Mall (or from anywhere for that matter).

Below are seven items I can’t believe are for sale on SkyMall along with my snide remarks about each.

  1. What does the Camo Slanket says about its owner? I’ve given up on life and I don’t want anyone to be able to find me.Camo Slanket
  2. The Toilet Dog and Cat Water Bowl really perplexes me. I thought the idea was to train your pets NOT to drink from the loo?!?Pet Drinking Toilet
  3. No, I’m sorry. No matter how you good you are at turning on and off the TV you and your Magic Wand Remote Control will not be getting into Hogwarts this term.Remote Control Wand
  4. The Brobdingnagian Sports Chair was made for the outdoorsman who wants to feel like a kid and look like an idiot again.Obscenely Big Chair
  5. Jumpin Jammers are the perfect nighttime apparel for the young lady who really, really wants to look like one of the Bratz Babyz.Jumpin Jammerz
  6. The product description for the Golden Pierogi claims that it’s destined to be “become a family heirloom”. For what family, may I ask, the Clampetts?Golden Pierogi
  7. I’m still of the opinion that giant inflatable animals do not increase car sales, but it looks like you can buy big blue inflatable gorillas (albeit sans yellow boxer shorts) from SkyMall.

    More Big Blue Gorilla

With each release there are hundreds of ridiculous products no one needs and definitely should never buy. On the rare occasion that I find something that piques my interest the forces of reality drag me back to Earth.

What’s the looniest thing you’ve ever seen in Sky Mall? Did you buy it? Sound off in the comments below.

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6 thoughts on “Seven Things No One Should Buy from Sky Mall

  1. Jackie

    I absolutely feel the same way about landings and takeoffs and have the same guilty pleasure of perusing said catalog. It’s good to have some consumer advocacy out there, protecting us from these awful products. Although, must say a work acquaintance was recently photographed in a Sports Chair like #4, and I always wondered where such a chair would be purchased. Now I know.
    Thanks for your entertaining post!

    1. Ammon Post author

      I’m glad you liked this post, but I’m embarrassed for your colleague and his family. No one should be photographed that way.

  2. dinkerson

    I always like to done my camo snuggy and lounge in my Brobdingnagian Sports Chair (BSC for those in the know) while waving my remote wand. It all gets even better if I can talk my wife into a sexy little dance in her jumpin’ Jammers. The best part of all is that I don’t have to worry about getting up to water the dog!
    Oh, and that thing is a dumpling? Who knew? I thought it was an oyster, and for years I’ve had it sitting in my decorative bowl of sea shells. The things you can learn on WordPress.

    1. Ammon Post author

      If only you had stumbled onto this post before you made the classic blunder of purchasing all that junk from Sky Mall. I’m sorry I didn’t publish this post sooner. Glad you learned something on WordPress for a change.

      Great comment!

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