18-34 No More

I used to be with it, but then they changed what “it” was. Now, what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s “it” seems weird and scary to me. | Abe (Grandpa) Simpson

Grandpa Simpson
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As of today, no one cares what I think anymore. At least that’s what I’m told marketers and advertisers believe.

Yesterday was my last day as a member of the coveted 18-34 male demographic. So to make the most of it I spent all day skateboarding while playing Skyrim and Battlefield 3 on my Xbox 360. I watched UFC and MTV on TV. I was so social—I tweeted, I poked, I plussed, I stumbled, I tumbled, and I pressed. I only ate super spicy Cheetos and drank nothing, but Mountain Dew.

It was so, totally, extremely, radically, awesome! Except none of it happened.

To settle in to my new demographic group today I got up before the sun rose to read the Wall Street Journal. Later, I did the New York Times crossword puzzle while my double fiber oatmeal cooled enough for me to eat it. Then, I drove to the grocery store in my Buick where I wandered aimlessly and complained about the weather, the economy, and Obama to anyone who would listen. Afterwards, I met my wife for the early bird special at Denny’s. Before bed, I resolved to finally get into this Facebook thing I’ve been hearing the young folks talk about.

I’m especially glad that that wasn’t how I spent my birthday.

The truth of the matter is that I don’t think I fit into the boxes that marketers and advertisers want me to and I’m pretty sure most of you don’t either.

Do you agree or disagree? Sound off in the comments below.


9 thoughts on “18-34 No More

  1. AustinDM

    First, happy birthday, sorry I didn’t have much time to talk to you. Second, I think with society and people living longer and whatnot, the 18-34 demographic isn’t what it used to be, 40 is the new 30 and all that. People are still allowed to be 34+ and be “young,” or they can be like me and feel “old” at 17. I don’t think it’s just a frame of mind thing tho, there are other factors, but I don’t think of you as 35 or as old, just older. 🙂

  2. The Background Story

    1) Happy birthday to you! 35 is the new 18 while 40 is the new 21, or so I’ve heard.
    2) With a lot of variety nowadays, more and more people are pursuing different interests that may not be typical to their age group. So yes, you’re still good. (=

    1. Ammon Post author

      I like the way you think. My wife reminded me, however, that each day from here on out I’m closer to 50 than I’ll be to 20.

  3. AustinDM

    And by I call that a blessing, I don’t mean the hadn’t met my wife yet. I meant being 20 wasn’t as awesome as being (almost) 30 is now.

  4. dinkerson

    So? Who cares?

    Sorry. I couldn’t resist.
    It looks like very soon – and even to some extent it has already happened – the demographic to cater to will be the 12-16 crowd.
    Look at all these poor kids who are so famous and popular until they reach 18. Then suddenly they are way too old to matter anymore. They have lost their appeal to the deficient taste of the coveted 12-16 year old market.
    Who the crap is that Zac Efron guy? He’s so old! What a creeper; he must be at least 20!

    1. Ammon Post author

      That’s a pretty grim picture you’re painting. Unfortunately, I think you’re right to a large extent.

      We’re increasingly catering to a fickle, “Here we are now, entertain us” generation.

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