The Seven Most Epic Unibrows of All Time

In this edition of Lucky 7s, I tackle the seven unruliest unibrows ever. Read on below to see who made the cut.

1. Anthony Davis

Arkansas-Little Rock v Kentucky
Image via Business Insider.

This past March, I wasn’t so much obsessed with NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament as I was with fierce-looking unibrow of University of Kentucky basketball phenom, Anthony Davis. Don’t worry about him though. He’s getting ready to count the millions he’ll be getting when he is drafted into the NBA later this year.

2. Gerald Samson

Gerald Samson
Image via Simpsons Wiki.

Gerald, AKA “The Monobrow”, Samson is the arch-nemesis of Maggie Simpson. How could a baby possibly have any enemies you may ask? She probably didn’t like the way he was looking at her.

3. Frida Kahlo

Frida Kahlo self portrait
Image via Wikipedia.

I’ll say this for Frida, at least she was honest. She painted how she looked. I mean, if I had her talent as a painter I’d have been tempted to not fill in the space above and to the center of my eyes.

4. The Red Bird

Angry Birds for iPhone
Image via Rovio.

It’s no coincidence that the angriest looking of the Angry Birds is the one with one big, honkin’ eyebrow. Known only as the Red Bird, this avian antagonist flings himself at anything shielding his sworn porcine adversaries.

5. George Harrison

George Harrison
Image via ZTams.

George Harrison was my favorite Beatle not named John or Paul. Amazingly, he also wrote all of the best Beatles’ songs not written by John or Paul. What George lacked in the not being John or Paul department he more than made up for in the having a giant caterpillar over his eyes department.

6. Bert

Bert Smile
Image via Muppet Wiki.

Oh, Bert! He’s the nerdy half of my favorite Sesame Street duo. From his pigeon obsession to his love of checkers and the letter W, everything about him reeks of lameness. Not being able to grow a mustache under his nose he decided to grow one over his eyes instead.

7. Wally Moon

WALLY MOON LOS ANGELES DODGERS 1964
Image via Frank Kelsey’s flickr.

I’d never heard of Wally Moon until I stumbled across this blog post about the worst baseball cards of all time in which Moon’s brows are prominently featured. Wally Moon is to unibrows what Tom Selleck is to mustaches—in a word, epic.

“Eyebrows. There should be two.”

Yes, I know I totally just quoted Miss Congeniality right there. However, truth is truth regardless of the source. Remember—tweezers—they’re not just for splinters.

Am I missing anyone from the list of epic eyebrows? Sound off in the comments below.

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7 thoughts on “The Seven Most Epic Unibrows of All Time

    1. Ammon Post author

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed the post! I’ve had a post or two featured on Freshly Pressed, but there doesn’t seem to be any method to their madness.

  1. April

    Awesome! I had no idea unibrow baby from the Simpson’s had a name! I don’t have anyone to add, just thought your post was hilarious!

    1. Ammon Post author

      He’s got a name and a backstory apparently! I never would have known it either if it weren’t for the unstoppable duo of Internet and Google 🙂

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